When parents and teenagers argue, parents usually imagine something has gone terribly wrong - that they’ve failed as parents or their teenagers are especially awful.

What have they done, they often wonder, to let their sweet, obedient, charming children turn into such monsters? In fact, while teenage/parent conflict can clearly get out of hand and be a worry, it’s actually perfectly normal for parents and their children not to see eye to eye during the teenage years.

The reason is that teenagers have a job to do - to learn to stand on their own two feet. They need to explore their own needs and voice their own opinions and become themselves rather than their parents’ children.

Teenagers need to separate from their parents and to do so will often say and do things they know will upset them. These disagreements can be painful because they tell parents that they are growing old and that their children may soon no longer need them. Faced with the demands and protests of a teenager in the throes of adolescence, parents may feel overwhelmed and find themselves drawn into arguments, reacting like teenagers themselves, rather than as parents or adults.

It can often be reassuring to know that young people still want and need their parents approval and care, and that once they have grow through this period they tend once more to share many beliefs and attitudes with their parents.

Parents need to know they are not alone and that most families with teenagers go through the same difficulties.

Source: Parentline Plus October 2007

Local Groups & Workshops

Groups and workshops give you the opportunity to share your experiences with other parents and discuss fresh ideas on how you and your children can make the most of life. For further information on local contacts and groups in your area contact:

For over 10s

• Call Leigh on 01803 402863 or Becky on 01803 402865

Cluster Teams

Visit the Cluster Teams page for further information on the four teams in Torbay.

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